The Jedi & Sith of Gamers

The Jedi, masters of the Force and guardians of peace. The Sith, fallen Jedi who have given in to the Dark Side and become emotional, selfish. The Jedi and Sith exist in us all.

It could be asked why I am using Star Wars references for this article. It’s simple, I just finished watching the prequel trilogy and am on a bit of a Star Wars high.

Anyway, so the question has to be asked. How are gamers Jedi and Sith? Well..

Jedi Gamers: They get together just to play games and have fun. Emotions never run high since the atmosphere is warm and friendly. Jedi Gamers do not hesitate to teach their friends (ahem, padawans) how to play games that are new to them, helping them learn how to be competitive and spread the good will of gaming. The Jedi Gamers will laugh, have fun, and the losers will typically not be bothered at all by the fact that they are being beaten into the virtual ground since they’re just having fun with fellow gamers!

One of the gamers will then decide to invite a friend over to play too. Unfortunately, the friend being invited isn’t quite a Jedi Gamer, no. He is one of the…

Sith Gamers: Sith gamers like to pretend a lot. Oh sure, you think they are having fun.. You think that they don’t mind losing to you.. But inside, they are losing control of their emotions. Despite saying that they don’t mind losing to you, inside they are probably on the verge of snapping and strangling you with a controller’s cord. The more a Sith Gamer loses, the more it will become evident that they are this kind of gamer. They will begin to trash talk you, accuse you of being cheap or using something that shouldn’t be allowed. When you go for a pee break, they’ll probably activate a cheat and not tell you so that they can slaughter you and then gloat about it. They may even conspire with the other Jedi Gamers and persuade them to join the Dark Si… er… join up against you so that you won’t win.

Jedi Gamers can play and win forever and ever and be decent about it. It’s also okay if they lose constantly, because it’s all in the name of fun. Sith Gamers won’t play if they are not winning frequently. If they are losing a lot, they will express their discontent. If they win, they will verbally rub their “superior skills” in your face.

Jedi Gamers practice hard to become good at their chosen games. They play online with friendly people often, and also spend a lot of time in training modes. Sith Gamers only play against the computer, probably on easy. They can dominate with ease this way, making them believe that they are unbeatable. Thus, they never train and usually get humiliated by the Jedi Gamers.

Jedi Gamers will want to make sure that the playing field is fair. If the opposition are at a severe disadvantage, they will even the odds in the name of fun. Sith Gamers on the other hand will not do this. They will go out of their way to change game settings in whatever sneaky way they can to have an edge over other players. They may also tamper with environmental factors, such as the room temperature or furniture positions. They may also drink all of the Jedi Gamer’s favourite juice in the fridge so that the Jedi Gamer will have to settle for a second rate drink during gaming breaks. They will do anything to have an advantage!

When all is said and done and the gaming is over, Jedi Gamers will tell the losing player, the Sith Gamer, that they had fun. The Sith Gamer will then, in turn, say “FUCK OFF.”

This is usually when the Sith Gamer will complain about being rusty, too drunk to be able to play well, or accuse the Jedi Gamer of having a lucky gaming session. The Sith Gamer will become resentful and gaming will cease…. Until the following day when it all repeats again.

A few Sith Gamers become Sith Lords, or Darth SephirothX/Vegeta1984/MasterGamer. The Sith Lord Gamers are, unfortunately, NOT a laughing matter. In reality, these are the crazy freaks who snap and end up doing something terrible such as inflicting bodily harm on others. Sith Gamers typically become Sith Lord Gamers while playing Counter-Strike, Farmville, Maple Story, Team Fortress, or World of Warcraft.

If you sense a Sith Lord Gamer in the game you are playing, immediately exit the area that they are playing in as it is extremely dangerous to socialize with them. Allowing them to get to know you is often very dangerous, especially if you yourself are a devout Jedi Gamer. Befriend a Sith Lord Gamer and, unfortunately, you may end up as a Force Ghost.

Moral of the story? Avoid potential nutjob gamers in real life and online. Play to have fun. Don’t be an asshole and lose your cool if you’re beaten. Gaming is fun. It’s a hobby, a stress reliever. Let’s keep it that way.

May the Force be with you.

Return to August 2010 Articles

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