Evony Antics

Nobody else can make town building and resource harvesting look this erotic.

My first encounter with Evony was last summer sometime. Evony banners, like the one below, were all over the place.

I decided against playing the game, believing it to be another MMORPG that tried to rip off the ultra successful formula of World of Warcraft. It wasn’t until my brother told me that he was playing it, and that it was something very different, that I decided to give it a go.

My brother likened Evony to something like Civilization, but I don’t think that it could even emulate that well. I quickly learned that Evony is just a bland game that makes you build a town, collect resources, and train an army very, very slowly. I realized that one could only be successful in Evony if they had absolutely no life, or if they were willing to spend money on it. That’s right, you could spend real money in Evony to be awarded with fairly pathetic items that don’t even make a colossal difference. To make a super city, you would have to spend quite a lot of money.

Would you be willing to continuously sink money into something that looks like this?

Evony just isn’t worth it at all, it’s horribly boring and is mostly just a game of numbers. Given what the sole purpose of Evony is, to just increase numbers, they should have just made this a text-based game or a web game without pictures. Everything on your screen that has more than two colours is irrelevant.

Anyway, I played Evony for about two weeks, playing it “discreetly” at work like the later ads mentioned. Evony gives you the ability to change the the text in the title bar of your browser, so you can change it to “Google” and minimize it and absolutely nobody would know that it’s Evony unless they maximize it. This is the trick I used at work.

Anyway, I started to become aware that Evony was a waste of time. Around the same time, a wave of new ads for the game appeared on the internet.

I found these ads to be really amusing at first, but the image it gave Evony was certainly a bad one and I found myself feeling embarrassed to be an Evony player and I quit.

It wasn’t long after that things then just got completely out of hand.

Boy, am I ever glad that I stopped playing this last year. Evony’s ad campaign has been getting worse lately, even transforming into “build your own dream girl” flash ads that you can “play.” When you finish building a girl, you are then sent to the Evony site.

Several months ago, PopCap apparently became fed up with the Evony ads as well and decided to parody them in one of the funniest acts on the internet over the past year.

PopCap made their own Evony ads, but in the style of Plants vs Zombies.

Score one for PopCap. This made Evony become the laughing stock of the internet, which was sorely deserved.

Evony continues to receive a lot of complaints about the misleading advertising campaign that the game’s makers continue to use to promote the game. Unfortunately, I can’t see how it is doing any good for a game that is absolutely terrible.

Sure, Evony still has lots of players. However, the point in time in which people who play Evony as laughed at is certainly approaching. Teenagers will have to decide whether they want to play Evony or “look cool” to their online peers and not play, and we all know how much teenagers value being cool in the eyes of others.

Anyway, I have a feeling that Evony’s ridiculous ad campaign is not over and I look forward to seeing what ads come next! I’ve never been happier to not be a player of this pathetic excuse of a game.

Return to June 2010 Articles


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